M. S. – “After a Brazilian Wax”

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I want for nothing except for Mario to get laid in the end. That dragon has no mercy and almost set his balls on fire. You tell me Luigi deserves some sweet lovin’ as well and now my mind’s in the gutter. What with Wilde saying everything is sex and sex is power. And the man flashing me at the bus stop for the second time because he didn’t get the angle right. The ad is about a deodorant that never gives up. But a bunch of women suddenly fall tits first on a bewildered jock.  The saleslady shoves a crimson bra at my face guaranteeing an out-of-body experience. The thong is pure voodoo. Sex Addicts Anonymous got me banned a month ago. My alien abduction story probed them in a way that didn’t tickle. Unlike Rihanna, whips and chains don’t excite me which disappoints my ex. He wants to tattoo his name above my butt. All psychiatrists want a dream diary with daddy issues. And mom wants me to have kids before thirty. Ovaries curdle and expire like milk, she warns. It’s no coincidence that I had cereal for breakfast.

 

M.S. is not as weird as her writing. Her work can be found in various online literary journals and magazines.

 

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