My wife spent years of her life telling people her last name was “money with an extra O” when asked to spell it. I always thought that was simply a clever joke. However, then I spilled a can of SpaghettiOs into our financial records. Suddenly we were flat broke and had a whole houseful of family guests on our hands.
Seriously, it really turned out that adding an ‘O’ to money changed it to a person named ‘Mooney.’ Her ancestors had been doing things the hard way for an awfully long time.
Of course, this made the holidays tense for a while. Once they knew they could turn each other into cash by carving out a letter, familial bonds were tested. Who couldn’t use a few samolians? Would they sacrifice a loved one for it? The thought at least entered their minds.
Every time they saw one another.
Frankly, it was fortunate that the global financial infrastructure completely collapsed less than a week later. Seems no one had done any maintenance in a while and a few cracks quickly turned it all to rubble. That meant money wasn’t useful though, which in turn left no impetus for ‘O’ gouging. There was other havoc for a bit, but it calmed down quickly enough.
Now we all bake cakes.
Sweet treats wound up being a marvelous way to organize a peaceful worldwide society. Even Marie Antoinette knew that. Too bad no one had listened to what she really meant back in the day.
David S. Atkinson is the author of “Apocalypse All the Time,” “Not Quite so Stories,” “The Garden of Good and Evil Pancakes,” and “Bones Buried in the Dirt.” He is a Staff Reader for Digging Through The Fat and his writing appears in “Literary Orphans,” “The Airgonaut,” “Connotation Press,” and others. His writing website is http://davidsatkinsonwriting.com/