“Girilla” by Eva M. Schlesinger

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After eating two bunches of bananas, Madelyn sat back on her bed and waited to turn into a lowlands gorilla. When five minutes passed and her arms were no hairier than usual, she paced the floor and practiced swinging her shoulders. Hunched over, she grunted. She smooshed her eyebrows together to look menacing and then swiveled out the door into the street, where she hailed a taxi.
The first cab driver shook his head and drove off, tires screeching. The next driver leaned across the front seat and shouted, “No girillas.”
Madelyn’s compact snapped open. She yelped in delight, noticing thick black hairs sprouting all over her body.
She jumped into a treetop and wanted to call her friends to celebrate. But remembered she had left her phone on her bed. She had lost her pager, too.

 

 

 

Eva M. Schlesinger has been a Grand Slam contender on The Moth Stage, where she made the audience of 1,400 laugh nonstop. Her flash has appeared in Atlas & Alice, The Absurdist, Tattoo Highway, and elsewhere. She is the author of four poetry chapbooks, including three whose covers she designed. Every day Eva reads voraciously, draws wildly, improvises musically, and writes.

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